Whoops. Went a while without posting something. Anyways I'm depressed as shit and I don't know what to do about it besides assume things will somehow get better. But even then I don't know if they're gonna get better for me or get better for someone that somehow contributes to my environment in some way.
Putting it plainly, I want to be god. I don't want to be the version of deity that floats in the sky and tells you if you've been naughty or nice or any of that dumb shit. I want to be the beacon of hope that achieves things that people see and think they can do it themselves. I want to lead by example of human creativity. I want to be everything and everything. I want to build anything and everything. I even felt that there were strong religious connotations in the things I've been saying when it comes to this shit, which would be pretty funny. Idk anymore. I'm tired.
The thought came to mind that "things would be better and people would be better without me", but honestly I think that I'd be better without me. At least this version of me. "Virgin" of me. Lol. I'm so alone.